In all of my years at school as a teacher and as a school administrator, I can count on one hand how many calls began with "Mr. Foehr, I want to thank you..." I believe there are people out there who, given the inclination and time to make that call, would do so. However, in this 21st Century environment that is based on speed and quick solutions, the phone calls that get made generally begin with "Mr. Foehr, I am the parent of (student x) and I have a problem with...Call me back today at this time so I can..." Already I am dreading that phone call and am now eagerly searching for anything to happen at school that requires my attention for a long period of time!!
The flipside scenario to that is, as a parent, I can count on one hand the number of phone calls I have received (I have three school age children) that began with "Mr. Foehr, I wanted to let you know that your child has done a great job...." It happens more than the parent phone calls I described above, but nonetheless, the more frequent call is more like "Mr. Foehr, I'm calling to let you know about something that took place at school...Please call me..." Now mind you my children are pretty good so I have not had to make many of those calls, or receive them. But, having been in the education field my entire professional life, I know that is how many conversations with parents begin.
Email has thrown an entire new wrinkle into this ongoing communication challenge. Though we certainly are able to send and receive messages more rapidly and in greater volume, we are reading the print with our own background information that is adding inflection where we want to based on either current mood, prior interactions, or information that was given to us before the message was delivered. In general, any of those three paradigms can, and do, sway the meaning of the message.
I want to make sure we change our communication processes so that every interaction we have as parents, teachers, administrators, and students results in a positive step to creating a great learning experience for all students.
How we begin our messages - in person, in print, on the phone - sets the tone for the entire problem solving cycle. Over the next few weeks, I will blog about steps that I have used so that all parties can ensure everybody's goals are met. It has been my experience that no matter how sour meeting begin and even how they sometimes end, all the people at the table agree on one thing - they want something good for the student(s) in question. We simply let our personal viewpoints or perspective cloud our vision and this causes impediments to achieving a positive solution. I have practiced this style of communication as a teacher, a parent, and as an administrator. I can help anyone engaged in a school related situation, walk through the pros and cons, brainstorm and identify the goal of an initial contact, and frame their conversation so that it begins and ends effectively.
Next week: Let's begin as a parent reaching out to the school!
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